The Ending Of A Game Of Thrones If Every Fan Theory Is Correct

Redditor francisflute drafted a 1,400-word epic imagining the final book the the A Song of Ice and Fire series if every fan theory turned out to be correct. Here's some highlights:

All seems lost as Jon lays bleeding in the snow, surrounded by traitors and cold. As the cold grew stronger, the traitors realize something is off - it's TOO cold. The Others attack in force. Ghost, being warged by Jon, defends his body while Melisandre performs a last-minute ritual to revive him. She kills Shireen as sacrifice and breathes fire into Jon's mouth, and he rises up, but not before avenging Shireen by plunging Longclaw into Melisandre's heart. Longclaw bursts into flame, revealing Jon Snow as Azor Ahai reborn.

...

Danaerys returns with her Dothraki hordes and burns Meereen to the ground atop Drogon. Tyrion hops onto Rhaegal and becomes the first dwarf dragonrider. Victarion, Jorah, Barristan, Tyrion, Penny, and Daario bow down to their Queen, standing on the shore between a salty sea and a smoking city, and Moqorro reveals her as Azor Ahai reborn. On their way to Westeros, Tyrion becomes suspicious of Daario, thinking he's seen him elsewhere before. As they pass the Smoking Sea, Tyrion realizes that he has met this man once before, while taking a piss off the edge of the world. "I know this man," he tells Dany. "This is Benjen Stark of the Night's Watch." Benjen reveals that he came to Dany knowing she was Azor Ahai, and wanted to bring her to the Wall to fight the Others. Dany declares that she must take her kingdom back first. Victarion and Dany both decide it is important to sail the Smoking Sea - Dany for knowledge of her ancestors, and Victarion because fuck yeah, Victarion. They stop at one of the ruins to explore. They find Brightroar, which Dany gives to Jorah, much to Tyrion's dismay. Tyrion argues that he deserves a Lannister sword, but Dany quiets him by telling him he is not a Lannister. Dany reveals that his face is like her father's face, and his dark eye and his pale hair give him away as a secret Targaryen.

...

Meanwhile, in King's Landing, Cersei watches Ser Robert Strong step forth to defent her in her trial by combat. She looks to see what weakling dare challenge this giant - and sees a similarly large man step forward, a hood over his head and a limp in his step. The man walks into the center of the pit, draws his sword and whispers, "Fucking confirmed. Get hype." Robert Strong attacks, throwing the Gravedigger back, but his younger brother comes in at a low angle and knocks him over. Robert Strong's helmet rolls away, revealing a sick conglomeration of King Robert's head, Robb's head, Joffrey's head, the Mountain's head, and nothing at all.

...

Dany and her army attack Westeros starting from Dorne, but find that the Martells will not join her - they've already chosen Aegon Targaryen. Just as Arianne and Aegon marry, however, Aegon pulls out Blackfyre and says, "Psyche! I'm not a Targaryen at all!" A Dance of Dragons breaks out, which ends promptly with Aegon getting incinerated by all Dany on Drogon, Tyrion on Rhaegal, and Bran warging Viserion. Euron/Benjen/Daario tries to warg Viserion as well, encountering Bran and Bloodraven. They form an eternal hive mind together, and make a movie about it titled "Being Brynden Rivers." Lady Stoneheart orders Brienne to kill Jaime. Brienne and Jaime fight, but Brienne decides that she cannot stand to kill Jaime and swings her sword at Lady Stoneheart instead. Her sword pierces Stoneheart's stone heart, and bursts into flames, revealing Brienne as Azor Ahai reborn. Jaime, however, cannot stop the swing of his sword, which plunges into Brienne's heart before bursting into flames and revealing Jaime Lannister as Azor Ahai reborn.

...

The Others march onto King's Landing, surrounding everyone. The Night's King walks forth as an emissary. "Y'know, we're not that bad," he says. "I mean, yeah, we're killing people, but everyone does that these days. We actually have reasons. Fuck, you guys have been burning the Riverlands for no fucking reason at all. You torture people constantly. We sent Roose down here to watch y'all and somehow he turned into a psychopath. What the hell is your problem?"

You can read the rest at Reddit. Aluminum Throne via tumblr.

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